"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)."
Is being single becoming a disease you are trying to cure yourself of? Have voices of doubt from family and friends mingled with your own inner thoughts caused you to despair? Do whispers from Satan tell you if you were such a great catch you would already be caught? It wasn’t so long ago I would have answered yes to all of these questions until God began to change my heart, and my perspective. Slowly I began to realize being single was not a curse, but a time of blessed fellowship and preparation for my future.
There is nothing abnormal about desiring marriage. God created men and women to be joined together. While some people are perfectly comfortable remaining single their entire lives, the majority of us do want to get married. That being said, why does it have to be so complicated? I believe it’s because the goal is not simply to get married, but to be joined to the right spouse. Unfortunately, most couples have removed Christ from the relationship, or begrudgingly invite Him in as an unwelcome guest to be tolerated from time-to-time like a distant relative. We think we know best as we wonder why the divorce rate is so staggering.
Have you ever thought that God is protecting you from great harm by keeping you single? Do you trust that He would not withhold anything that is good from you? If marriage came so easily how tempting it would be to take your mate for granted. Maybe you feel you are ready, but the Lord may be working in the life of you future spouse. Wouldn’t you rather wait on God’s perfect timing to bring you together than to rush ahead and spoil the surprise? The longer you wait for something you really hope for, the greater the rejoicing when you behold it at last. Intense suffering in the single years can lead to greater commitment in marriage if you allow God to change your focus.
How do I know this? I was 43-years-old when I met my husband; married him at 44. There were two proposals before Jon’s. However, marrying any of those other guys would have had devastating consequences. Both those men cheated on their girlfriends and wives, including me. God was merciful; He saved me from greater pain than I had already experienced. Better still, He filled my heart with a love for Him and began to show me how we could partner through life together. If I let Him, Jesus would bring me the best husband for me, and prepare me to be a godly wife too.
My outlook on being single changed from gloomy to grateful as I dove into God’s Word daily. Bathed in His Scriptures, I surrendered the reins of control and asked the Holy Spirit to help me cooperate with His vision for my life. I gave God access to change my desire to be married, but if He planned to fulfill it I wanted the choice to be His. I prayed for God to work in my life and the life of my future husband, and for our union to honor Him. I was confident He had something really special planned for me. And He did!
If you are wondering why you are unmarried, ask God to reveal the answer before you make your own assumptions. If there are changes you need to make, the Lord will help you. The adversity and loneliness I faced in my single years strengthened me for marriage. Because I learned to turn to Jesus for wisdom, love and fellowship before and after I met Jon, my husband does not carry the responsibility only my Creator can fulfill. We cherish the gift of our marriage and the Giver who was our matchmaker. I pray you will use your single years to build up your relationship with Christ, and trust in His perfect plan for you. "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)."
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
The Blessed Curse
“Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Do you find yourself wrestling with God over why He has allowed things that test your patience? Life isn’t easy for most of us, yet we make it harder by tossing our anger at the One who is working to bring a blessing out of a curse. Oh, if I only I would cooperate with Him more instead of putting up a fight! So many of my greatest struggles turned out to be the greatest character-building moments when my spirit was teachable. At the time, they did not seem like a fork-in-the-road choice. But looking in the rear view mirror God sometimes affords me a glimpse of the importance of choosing wisely.
One of the first struggles I had to overcome was with food. It’s a common problem with many Americans. In the land of plenty we’re prone to overindulgence at every turn. I was never obese, but in my late teens I donned extra pounds that did not compliment my small frame. There were a host of reasons this was happened: less exercise, finding my solace in sweets when insecurities arose, and lack of nutritional understanding. After all, doesn’t a teenager have more important things to ponder than proteins, carbohydrates and fats? Sharing one of my self-pity moments with my college roommate, her retort rattled my self-absorbed mood, “You have so much potential. I don’t know why you don’t use what you’ve been given.”
Who, me? What potential do I have? And what am I so afraid of? My answer, success! For me, it had become easier to hold back. No one expects much of you if you’re living below your potential. Yet I knew my excuses where lame. I’d grown tired of my miserable jealous feelings when skinny friends feasted on treats without consequence. Two choices were available—stagnate and surrender to my food addiction, or take control and win. Strong in self-determination, I started a strict diet and exercise regimen. I absorbed every article I could find on these topics. God was not part of the equation back then. Emphasis on my strength was all I needed, or so I thought.
For awhile, I was winning the battle. In fact, the transformation was so dramatic that friends who hadn’t seen me in months didn’t recognize me. My hair was longer, my body was 25 pounds thinner, and contacts replaced my wire rim glasses. Success tasted sweet, but didn’t last long. My weight yo-yoed whenever I felt challenged, lonely, or insecure. Although the outside had changed the inside needed work. It took a health crisis in my thirties for God to reach me. He led me to a place that my strength could not hold me. Only placing my trust in Christ’s hands could.
It all seemed so cruel, so unfair when my health was jeopardized. I felt completely out of control after expanding so much effort to create a world-approved image of myself. Again, a fork-in-the-road appeared. Do I wallow in anger and abuse my body further, or do I turn to Jesus for the healing and peace I lack? Yes, it was wise to educate myself on healthy choices in food and exercise; but my diet had to include a daily dose of heavenly love. Without it I was starved, unsatisfied, and reaching for the wrong things to fill the void.
This wellness battle will always rage to some degree in my flesh, but praise God there has been victory! My weight swings are much less, and my palate desires the nutrients my body needs. No longer do I see self-restraint as punishment from God, but as loving boundaries that keep my mind, body and spirit in harmony. Perhaps that which you are fighting so strongly against will one day be your greatest ally if you invite Jesus into the war. “Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Do you find yourself wrestling with God over why He has allowed things that test your patience? Life isn’t easy for most of us, yet we make it harder by tossing our anger at the One who is working to bring a blessing out of a curse. Oh, if I only I would cooperate with Him more instead of putting up a fight! So many of my greatest struggles turned out to be the greatest character-building moments when my spirit was teachable. At the time, they did not seem like a fork-in-the-road choice. But looking in the rear view mirror God sometimes affords me a glimpse of the importance of choosing wisely.
One of the first struggles I had to overcome was with food. It’s a common problem with many Americans. In the land of plenty we’re prone to overindulgence at every turn. I was never obese, but in my late teens I donned extra pounds that did not compliment my small frame. There were a host of reasons this was happened: less exercise, finding my solace in sweets when insecurities arose, and lack of nutritional understanding. After all, doesn’t a teenager have more important things to ponder than proteins, carbohydrates and fats? Sharing one of my self-pity moments with my college roommate, her retort rattled my self-absorbed mood, “You have so much potential. I don’t know why you don’t use what you’ve been given.”
Who, me? What potential do I have? And what am I so afraid of? My answer, success! For me, it had become easier to hold back. No one expects much of you if you’re living below your potential. Yet I knew my excuses where lame. I’d grown tired of my miserable jealous feelings when skinny friends feasted on treats without consequence. Two choices were available—stagnate and surrender to my food addiction, or take control and win. Strong in self-determination, I started a strict diet and exercise regimen. I absorbed every article I could find on these topics. God was not part of the equation back then. Emphasis on my strength was all I needed, or so I thought.
For awhile, I was winning the battle. In fact, the transformation was so dramatic that friends who hadn’t seen me in months didn’t recognize me. My hair was longer, my body was 25 pounds thinner, and contacts replaced my wire rim glasses. Success tasted sweet, but didn’t last long. My weight yo-yoed whenever I felt challenged, lonely, or insecure. Although the outside had changed the inside needed work. It took a health crisis in my thirties for God to reach me. He led me to a place that my strength could not hold me. Only placing my trust in Christ’s hands could.
It all seemed so cruel, so unfair when my health was jeopardized. I felt completely out of control after expanding so much effort to create a world-approved image of myself. Again, a fork-in-the-road appeared. Do I wallow in anger and abuse my body further, or do I turn to Jesus for the healing and peace I lack? Yes, it was wise to educate myself on healthy choices in food and exercise; but my diet had to include a daily dose of heavenly love. Without it I was starved, unsatisfied, and reaching for the wrong things to fill the void.
This wellness battle will always rage to some degree in my flesh, but praise God there has been victory! My weight swings are much less, and my palate desires the nutrients my body needs. No longer do I see self-restraint as punishment from God, but as loving boundaries that keep my mind, body and spirit in harmony. Perhaps that which you are fighting so strongly against will one day be your greatest ally if you invite Jesus into the war. “Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
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