“Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear” (Isaiah 65:24).
It was an odd concept to pray for someone I hadn’t met, but not so strange to Jesus. Although my future husband was unknown to me, he was not to God. The Lord spoke to me through the words of my friend and spiritual big sister who encouraged me to seek God’s heart in this matter. Who better to be my yenta (matchmaker) than He? And so the prayer journey began in my quest for a mate, but it did not end when we married. The practice of praying life forward continues today.
This isn’t about believing enough or reciting the right words that convince my Holy Father to give me what I want. That was how my prayer life used to be. I was bound by rituals and incantations that I desperately clung to for years in an effort to control my desired outcome. There was no peace, no joy, and no sweet communion with God. I was captive to the lie that if I prayed hard enough, long enough, often enough and with enough gusto that my faith would make God respond. My spirit was not fellowshipping with Jesus, it was at war and I did not even know it. His kindness and mercy changed everything, especially my prayer life.
Before I was born again spiritually by God’s gracious gift that I accepted in faith, my conversations with Him were manipulative. I tried to be “good enough” to earn favor; it was exhausting. Honestly, I didn’t trust God. I feared His wrath but never knew His love. Jesus forgave me, cleansed me of my sins, and sent His Spirit to live inside of me so I could learn of His love and holiness. He also taught me how to pray for God’s perfect will in my life. Trust was ever-increasing. Prayers were answered as God had planned. I wanted what Christ wanted.
When writing “My Heart’s Desire: A Journey Toward Finding Extravagant Love”, I devoted a chapter on praying for Jon before we met. Fumbling initially, God eventually shaped my thoughts and words. Reverently I prayed, “Jesus, you know who my future husband is. I pray that he is a man of faith and integrity, and that you would bless our relationship. I ask that you form me into the godly wife you envision, and that our union and home honors you. Please help us to be compatible spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially, and to be good helpmates to each other.”
Surrender and trust were interwoven together. Prayer denials or delays were His loving hand of protection, not punishment. This belief continues today whenever I pray for the things of tomorrow. I ask the Holy Spirit to go before me illuminating the right path. If God is not with me I do not want to go there! These prayers encompass every aspect of life: job changes, major purchases, vacation plans, and spouses for single loved ones to name a few. God is in the future we’ve yet to experience. Doesn’t it make perfect sense to ask Him to prepare us for it and to grant us discernment along the way?
Our marriage has been a wonderful treasure because God brought us together. He longs to shape the events of your life too. May your heart overflow with gratitude rejoicing in God’s promise when His children are praying life forward, “Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear” (Isaiah 65:24).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
One at a Time
“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He chose for His inheritance” (Psalm 33:12).
Meandering around our front yard, I am still collecting remnants of fireworks from last week’s cul-de-sac celebration. The fourth of July was extra special this year not because of the festivities we shared with our neighbors, but because I realized how incredibly blessed we are in America beyond anything we deserve. God’s touch is everywhere.
In our household there are many things to be thankful for: my nephew’s safe return from his service in Iraq, our family’s good health, and the gift of employment to name a few. But it was more than these things. As I scanned the faces of the children dancing with sparklers as their fathers sent fireworks towards heaven while mothers snapped photos, I was touched by the diversity on our street. This is what so many have fought for, the freedom to be who we are even if it is very different from the folks beside us.
Most of us gathered that warm July night were not from Raleigh. We came from different states and countries with varying creeds and contrasting races. Yet we seek many common things like a better life for ourselves and our families. With all the social and economic challenges we are facing in America today we can still be grateful the Lord has allowed freedom to reign, even though so many have ignored God completely. Jesus has been merciful in our sinfulness as our nation fights this ever raging war to drown the voice of Christianity forever.
Sitting in the back of our pickup truck beside my husband that night, I felt a sense of urgency to pray for our country to turn our hearts and lives to Jesus. As a nation begins to fear and honor the Lord and submit to His authority, the people will be healed in their spirit. After all, what is a nation but a collection of individuals? God has revealed His love to America time and time again through His only Son Jesus Christ. While some have accepted this gift of salvation and restored fellowship with God, so many more are blinded.
My prayer for salvation is broad sweeping for our country, but God has convicted to me to stay on my knees and intercede for individuals. One-by-one a revolution can take place as spirits are cleansed and renewed by Jesus. We won’t desire to take up arms aimed at our enemies when that day comes. Instead, we’ll lift our hands to heaven with shouts of joy and praises for our long suffering King who prompted others to pray we’d become His child! Then we can declare with gladness, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He chose for His inheritance” (Psalm 33:12).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Meandering around our front yard, I am still collecting remnants of fireworks from last week’s cul-de-sac celebration. The fourth of July was extra special this year not because of the festivities we shared with our neighbors, but because I realized how incredibly blessed we are in America beyond anything we deserve. God’s touch is everywhere.
In our household there are many things to be thankful for: my nephew’s safe return from his service in Iraq, our family’s good health, and the gift of employment to name a few. But it was more than these things. As I scanned the faces of the children dancing with sparklers as their fathers sent fireworks towards heaven while mothers snapped photos, I was touched by the diversity on our street. This is what so many have fought for, the freedom to be who we are even if it is very different from the folks beside us.
Most of us gathered that warm July night were not from Raleigh. We came from different states and countries with varying creeds and contrasting races. Yet we seek many common things like a better life for ourselves and our families. With all the social and economic challenges we are facing in America today we can still be grateful the Lord has allowed freedom to reign, even though so many have ignored God completely. Jesus has been merciful in our sinfulness as our nation fights this ever raging war to drown the voice of Christianity forever.
Sitting in the back of our pickup truck beside my husband that night, I felt a sense of urgency to pray for our country to turn our hearts and lives to Jesus. As a nation begins to fear and honor the Lord and submit to His authority, the people will be healed in their spirit. After all, what is a nation but a collection of individuals? God has revealed His love to America time and time again through His only Son Jesus Christ. While some have accepted this gift of salvation and restored fellowship with God, so many more are blinded.
My prayer for salvation is broad sweeping for our country, but God has convicted to me to stay on my knees and intercede for individuals. One-by-one a revolution can take place as spirits are cleansed and renewed by Jesus. We won’t desire to take up arms aimed at our enemies when that day comes. Instead, we’ll lift our hands to heaven with shouts of joy and praises for our long suffering King who prompted others to pray we’d become His child! Then we can declare with gladness, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He chose for His inheritance” (Psalm 33:12).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Extended Single Years
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)."
Is being single becoming a disease you are trying to cure yourself of? Have voices of doubt from family and friends mingled with your own inner thoughts caused you to despair? Do whispers from Satan tell you if you were such a great catch you would already be caught? It wasn’t so long ago I would have answered yes to all of these questions until God began to change my heart, and my perspective. Slowly I began to realize being single was not a curse, but a time of blessed fellowship and preparation for my future.
There is nothing abnormal about desiring marriage. God created men and women to be joined together. While some people are perfectly comfortable remaining single their entire lives, the majority of us do want to get married. That being said, why does it have to be so complicated? I believe it’s because the goal is not simply to get married, but to be joined to the right spouse. Unfortunately, most couples have removed Christ from the relationship, or begrudgingly invite Him in as an unwelcome guest to be tolerated from time-to-time like a distant relative. We think we know best as we wonder why the divorce rate is so staggering.
Have you ever thought that God is protecting you from great harm by keeping you single? Do you trust that He would not withhold anything that is good from you? If marriage came so easily how tempting it would be to take your mate for granted. Maybe you feel you are ready, but the Lord may be working in the life of you future spouse. Wouldn’t you rather wait on God’s perfect timing to bring you together than to rush ahead and spoil the surprise? The longer you wait for something you really hope for, the greater the rejoicing when you behold it at last. Intense suffering in the single years can lead to greater commitment in marriage if you allow God to change your focus.
How do I know this? I was 43-years-old when I met my husband; married him at 44. There were two proposals before Jon’s. However, marrying any of those other guys would have had devastating consequences. Both those men cheated on their girlfriends and wives, including me. God was merciful; He saved me from greater pain than I had already experienced. Better still, He filled my heart with a love for Him and began to show me how we could partner through life together. If I let Him, Jesus would bring me the best husband for me, and prepare me to be a godly wife too.
My outlook on being single changed from gloomy to grateful as I dove into God’s Word daily. Bathed in His Scriptures, I surrendered the reins of control and asked the Holy Spirit to help me cooperate with His vision for my life. I gave God access to change my desire to be married, but if He planned to fulfill it I wanted the choice to be His. I prayed for God to work in my life and the life of my future husband, and for our union to honor Him. I was confident He had something really special planned for me. And He did!
If you are wondering why you are unmarried, ask God to reveal the answer before you make your own assumptions. If there are changes you need to make, the Lord will help you. The adversity and loneliness I faced in my single years strengthened me for marriage. Because I learned to turn to Jesus for wisdom, love and fellowship before and after I met Jon, my husband does not carry the responsibility only my Creator can fulfill. We cherish the gift of our marriage and the Giver who was our matchmaker. I pray you will use your single years to build up your relationship with Christ, and trust in His perfect plan for you. "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)."
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Is being single becoming a disease you are trying to cure yourself of? Have voices of doubt from family and friends mingled with your own inner thoughts caused you to despair? Do whispers from Satan tell you if you were such a great catch you would already be caught? It wasn’t so long ago I would have answered yes to all of these questions until God began to change my heart, and my perspective. Slowly I began to realize being single was not a curse, but a time of blessed fellowship and preparation for my future.
There is nothing abnormal about desiring marriage. God created men and women to be joined together. While some people are perfectly comfortable remaining single their entire lives, the majority of us do want to get married. That being said, why does it have to be so complicated? I believe it’s because the goal is not simply to get married, but to be joined to the right spouse. Unfortunately, most couples have removed Christ from the relationship, or begrudgingly invite Him in as an unwelcome guest to be tolerated from time-to-time like a distant relative. We think we know best as we wonder why the divorce rate is so staggering.
Have you ever thought that God is protecting you from great harm by keeping you single? Do you trust that He would not withhold anything that is good from you? If marriage came so easily how tempting it would be to take your mate for granted. Maybe you feel you are ready, but the Lord may be working in the life of you future spouse. Wouldn’t you rather wait on God’s perfect timing to bring you together than to rush ahead and spoil the surprise? The longer you wait for something you really hope for, the greater the rejoicing when you behold it at last. Intense suffering in the single years can lead to greater commitment in marriage if you allow God to change your focus.
How do I know this? I was 43-years-old when I met my husband; married him at 44. There were two proposals before Jon’s. However, marrying any of those other guys would have had devastating consequences. Both those men cheated on their girlfriends and wives, including me. God was merciful; He saved me from greater pain than I had already experienced. Better still, He filled my heart with a love for Him and began to show me how we could partner through life together. If I let Him, Jesus would bring me the best husband for me, and prepare me to be a godly wife too.
My outlook on being single changed from gloomy to grateful as I dove into God’s Word daily. Bathed in His Scriptures, I surrendered the reins of control and asked the Holy Spirit to help me cooperate with His vision for my life. I gave God access to change my desire to be married, but if He planned to fulfill it I wanted the choice to be His. I prayed for God to work in my life and the life of my future husband, and for our union to honor Him. I was confident He had something really special planned for me. And He did!
If you are wondering why you are unmarried, ask God to reveal the answer before you make your own assumptions. If there are changes you need to make, the Lord will help you. The adversity and loneliness I faced in my single years strengthened me for marriage. Because I learned to turn to Jesus for wisdom, love and fellowship before and after I met Jon, my husband does not carry the responsibility only my Creator can fulfill. We cherish the gift of our marriage and the Giver who was our matchmaker. I pray you will use your single years to build up your relationship with Christ, and trust in His perfect plan for you. "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)."
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Monday, June 14, 2010
The Blessed Curse
“Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Do you find yourself wrestling with God over why He has allowed things that test your patience? Life isn’t easy for most of us, yet we make it harder by tossing our anger at the One who is working to bring a blessing out of a curse. Oh, if I only I would cooperate with Him more instead of putting up a fight! So many of my greatest struggles turned out to be the greatest character-building moments when my spirit was teachable. At the time, they did not seem like a fork-in-the-road choice. But looking in the rear view mirror God sometimes affords me a glimpse of the importance of choosing wisely.
One of the first struggles I had to overcome was with food. It’s a common problem with many Americans. In the land of plenty we’re prone to overindulgence at every turn. I was never obese, but in my late teens I donned extra pounds that did not compliment my small frame. There were a host of reasons this was happened: less exercise, finding my solace in sweets when insecurities arose, and lack of nutritional understanding. After all, doesn’t a teenager have more important things to ponder than proteins, carbohydrates and fats? Sharing one of my self-pity moments with my college roommate, her retort rattled my self-absorbed mood, “You have so much potential. I don’t know why you don’t use what you’ve been given.”
Who, me? What potential do I have? And what am I so afraid of? My answer, success! For me, it had become easier to hold back. No one expects much of you if you’re living below your potential. Yet I knew my excuses where lame. I’d grown tired of my miserable jealous feelings when skinny friends feasted on treats without consequence. Two choices were available—stagnate and surrender to my food addiction, or take control and win. Strong in self-determination, I started a strict diet and exercise regimen. I absorbed every article I could find on these topics. God was not part of the equation back then. Emphasis on my strength was all I needed, or so I thought.
For awhile, I was winning the battle. In fact, the transformation was so dramatic that friends who hadn’t seen me in months didn’t recognize me. My hair was longer, my body was 25 pounds thinner, and contacts replaced my wire rim glasses. Success tasted sweet, but didn’t last long. My weight yo-yoed whenever I felt challenged, lonely, or insecure. Although the outside had changed the inside needed work. It took a health crisis in my thirties for God to reach me. He led me to a place that my strength could not hold me. Only placing my trust in Christ’s hands could.
It all seemed so cruel, so unfair when my health was jeopardized. I felt completely out of control after expanding so much effort to create a world-approved image of myself. Again, a fork-in-the-road appeared. Do I wallow in anger and abuse my body further, or do I turn to Jesus for the healing and peace I lack? Yes, it was wise to educate myself on healthy choices in food and exercise; but my diet had to include a daily dose of heavenly love. Without it I was starved, unsatisfied, and reaching for the wrong things to fill the void.
This wellness battle will always rage to some degree in my flesh, but praise God there has been victory! My weight swings are much less, and my palate desires the nutrients my body needs. No longer do I see self-restraint as punishment from God, but as loving boundaries that keep my mind, body and spirit in harmony. Perhaps that which you are fighting so strongly against will one day be your greatest ally if you invite Jesus into the war. “Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Do you find yourself wrestling with God over why He has allowed things that test your patience? Life isn’t easy for most of us, yet we make it harder by tossing our anger at the One who is working to bring a blessing out of a curse. Oh, if I only I would cooperate with Him more instead of putting up a fight! So many of my greatest struggles turned out to be the greatest character-building moments when my spirit was teachable. At the time, they did not seem like a fork-in-the-road choice. But looking in the rear view mirror God sometimes affords me a glimpse of the importance of choosing wisely.
One of the first struggles I had to overcome was with food. It’s a common problem with many Americans. In the land of plenty we’re prone to overindulgence at every turn. I was never obese, but in my late teens I donned extra pounds that did not compliment my small frame. There were a host of reasons this was happened: less exercise, finding my solace in sweets when insecurities arose, and lack of nutritional understanding. After all, doesn’t a teenager have more important things to ponder than proteins, carbohydrates and fats? Sharing one of my self-pity moments with my college roommate, her retort rattled my self-absorbed mood, “You have so much potential. I don’t know why you don’t use what you’ve been given.”
Who, me? What potential do I have? And what am I so afraid of? My answer, success! For me, it had become easier to hold back. No one expects much of you if you’re living below your potential. Yet I knew my excuses where lame. I’d grown tired of my miserable jealous feelings when skinny friends feasted on treats without consequence. Two choices were available—stagnate and surrender to my food addiction, or take control and win. Strong in self-determination, I started a strict diet and exercise regimen. I absorbed every article I could find on these topics. God was not part of the equation back then. Emphasis on my strength was all I needed, or so I thought.
For awhile, I was winning the battle. In fact, the transformation was so dramatic that friends who hadn’t seen me in months didn’t recognize me. My hair was longer, my body was 25 pounds thinner, and contacts replaced my wire rim glasses. Success tasted sweet, but didn’t last long. My weight yo-yoed whenever I felt challenged, lonely, or insecure. Although the outside had changed the inside needed work. It took a health crisis in my thirties for God to reach me. He led me to a place that my strength could not hold me. Only placing my trust in Christ’s hands could.
It all seemed so cruel, so unfair when my health was jeopardized. I felt completely out of control after expanding so much effort to create a world-approved image of myself. Again, a fork-in-the-road appeared. Do I wallow in anger and abuse my body further, or do I turn to Jesus for the healing and peace I lack? Yes, it was wise to educate myself on healthy choices in food and exercise; but my diet had to include a daily dose of heavenly love. Without it I was starved, unsatisfied, and reaching for the wrong things to fill the void.
This wellness battle will always rage to some degree in my flesh, but praise God there has been victory! My weight swings are much less, and my palate desires the nutrients my body needs. No longer do I see self-restraint as punishment from God, but as loving boundaries that keep my mind, body and spirit in harmony. Perhaps that which you are fighting so strongly against will one day be your greatest ally if you invite Jesus into the war. “Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Somebody Else’s Three Pretty Girls
“They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing” (Psalm 92:14).
Nearly ten years ago I stumbled upon Psalm 92:14 and claimed it for myself. Still single and longing to be married with kids, I believed bearing fruit meant I was guaranteed the fulfillment of this promise as it pertained to physical childbearing. Because God brought this verse to my conscious awareness, surely He was telling me motherhood was in my future. Young in my relationship with Christ, I lacked discernment in how to properly interpret the Scriptures. I assumed the first thought that popped into my brain must be the message God was speaking to me. But I would soon learn I cannot play the role God assigned to the Holy Spirit. Only His Spirit can be the accurate translator of God’s word, and I do myself harm when I fail to ask for His wisdom.
Day after day I would stare at verses, hoping my fixation on them would grant me my wish. I plastered my work cubicle with various Scriptures, including Psalm 92:14. While it was good to surround myself with Scripture, it was more of an exercise in positive thinking techniques than praying with an open heart seeking God’s impartation of His will for my life. I had convinced myself there was only one way Jesus could bring glory to Himself and children into my life, by the traditional path of physical conception and birth. I was wrong. The Lord is never constrained by human limitations and while many of life’s experiences are physical, He is always working in the spiritual realm.
In September, 2002 I became a wife and mother on the same day. I married a man with three college-age daughters. Honestly, “stepmother” was not the title I was hoping for, and I struggled with the reality of it throughout my courtship with Jon. Was I going against God’s plan by failing to trust He could give me my own baby, or were these three girls His gift to me? They would never belong to me physically or legally. Like Jon, their birth mother was lovingly involved in their lives. Desiring to tread lightly as to never disrupt this sacred parent-child bond, I considered myself void of any responsibility for the girls’ moral upbringing. God would hold Jon and his ex-wife accountable for that, but not me, or so I thought.
As a newlywed, God extended me grace in my wrong attitudes until my faith matured enough to see my sin. I am not granted a “free pass” from being a light for Christ to anyone the Father brings into my sphere of influence. Yes, He has created me with a mind and will that can choose to ignore the privilege I have been given, but one day I will answer to Him for the choices I made. Slowly the Holy Spirit enabled me to understand that my stepdaughters will be affected by my words and actions, and I have an opportunity to be a godly mentor.
Making a difference for Christ in another’s life is my passion. It’s born out of my love for all that Jesus continues to do in me, and in gratitude for people He used to draw me closer to Him. I would like to tell you that I have a strong mentoring relationship with Jon’s girls, but it’s a delicate dance. Sometimes it appears we are making great progress, other days the chasm between our opposing views widens. I am learning to love as Christ loved me, unconditionally loving the sinner while not condoning the sin. It’s God’s love that brings us to repentance. My prayer is to be the Holy Spirit’s channel of love and forgiveness to others; a beacon that points them to Jesus.
May’s celebration of Mother’s Day brings motherhood into the forefront. Prompted by the recent visit of Jon’s daughters coupled with shopping excursions for friends’ baby showers, a small undercurrent of sadness rises to the surface of my heart. Pregnancy and child rearing is not something I wish I were experiencing today, but wish I had years earlier. It still seems out of character for me to have missed it. Praise God He reminds me that He is at work bringing forth spiritual fruit (children of God) through me even though I do not see it now! And He did answer my prayer for physical children. He gave me somebody else’s three pretty girls to love. Who has Jesus put in your life? “They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing” (Psalm 92:14).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Nearly ten years ago I stumbled upon Psalm 92:14 and claimed it for myself. Still single and longing to be married with kids, I believed bearing fruit meant I was guaranteed the fulfillment of this promise as it pertained to physical childbearing. Because God brought this verse to my conscious awareness, surely He was telling me motherhood was in my future. Young in my relationship with Christ, I lacked discernment in how to properly interpret the Scriptures. I assumed the first thought that popped into my brain must be the message God was speaking to me. But I would soon learn I cannot play the role God assigned to the Holy Spirit. Only His Spirit can be the accurate translator of God’s word, and I do myself harm when I fail to ask for His wisdom.
Day after day I would stare at verses, hoping my fixation on them would grant me my wish. I plastered my work cubicle with various Scriptures, including Psalm 92:14. While it was good to surround myself with Scripture, it was more of an exercise in positive thinking techniques than praying with an open heart seeking God’s impartation of His will for my life. I had convinced myself there was only one way Jesus could bring glory to Himself and children into my life, by the traditional path of physical conception and birth. I was wrong. The Lord is never constrained by human limitations and while many of life’s experiences are physical, He is always working in the spiritual realm.
In September, 2002 I became a wife and mother on the same day. I married a man with three college-age daughters. Honestly, “stepmother” was not the title I was hoping for, and I struggled with the reality of it throughout my courtship with Jon. Was I going against God’s plan by failing to trust He could give me my own baby, or were these three girls His gift to me? They would never belong to me physically or legally. Like Jon, their birth mother was lovingly involved in their lives. Desiring to tread lightly as to never disrupt this sacred parent-child bond, I considered myself void of any responsibility for the girls’ moral upbringing. God would hold Jon and his ex-wife accountable for that, but not me, or so I thought.
As a newlywed, God extended me grace in my wrong attitudes until my faith matured enough to see my sin. I am not granted a “free pass” from being a light for Christ to anyone the Father brings into my sphere of influence. Yes, He has created me with a mind and will that can choose to ignore the privilege I have been given, but one day I will answer to Him for the choices I made. Slowly the Holy Spirit enabled me to understand that my stepdaughters will be affected by my words and actions, and I have an opportunity to be a godly mentor.
Making a difference for Christ in another’s life is my passion. It’s born out of my love for all that Jesus continues to do in me, and in gratitude for people He used to draw me closer to Him. I would like to tell you that I have a strong mentoring relationship with Jon’s girls, but it’s a delicate dance. Sometimes it appears we are making great progress, other days the chasm between our opposing views widens. I am learning to love as Christ loved me, unconditionally loving the sinner while not condoning the sin. It’s God’s love that brings us to repentance. My prayer is to be the Holy Spirit’s channel of love and forgiveness to others; a beacon that points them to Jesus.
May’s celebration of Mother’s Day brings motherhood into the forefront. Prompted by the recent visit of Jon’s daughters coupled with shopping excursions for friends’ baby showers, a small undercurrent of sadness rises to the surface of my heart. Pregnancy and child rearing is not something I wish I were experiencing today, but wish I had years earlier. It still seems out of character for me to have missed it. Praise God He reminds me that He is at work bringing forth spiritual fruit (children of God) through me even though I do not see it now! And He did answer my prayer for physical children. He gave me somebody else’s three pretty girls to love. Who has Jesus put in your life? “They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing” (Psalm 92:14).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Monday, April 19, 2010
My Isaac Moment Nine Years Later
“Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about” (Genesis 22:2).
April 19, 2001 was my first Isaac moment, but it hasn’t been my last. It was on that day my four-year battle to trust God completely for something I had wished for all my life culminated in a moment of joyful surrender. This was not of my own doing. The power of the Holy Spirit brought me to that altar, kept me there in stillness, and carried me through to healing on the other side. Although my sacrifice was differed from Abraham’s, there were some parallels.
Abraham was asked to offer up his child whom he’d loved and nurtured for many years. Isaac was a living being. My offering was only a dream, the desire for a child. Abraham’s altar was high on a mountain top in the thick brush with wildlife in his midst. Mine was a cold sterile operating room surrounded by a well-trained medical team. God had promised that Abraham’s genealogy would be more numerous than all the stars he could see, or the grains of sand he could count. Better still, the Messiah would come from his bloodline; from Isaac’s descendants. There was no profound promise from God to me. Still, He wanted to bring new life through my surrender just as He did with Abraham’s. Mine sprung forth in a different way; one that I never expected. The mystery is still unfolding.
Every Christian will face at least one Isaac moment. These are times of testing and cleansing when Jesus asks us to lay before Him all those people, plans, and possessions we have clung to so dearly. Why? Is God cruel? No! He simply has to remind us that while we live in the temporal there is eternal work to be accomplished, and He gives us the privilege of joining Him in this amazing birthing process. Does this mean you or I can save another person’s soul? No! Only the Holy Spirit can do that. But what’s going on in our lives speaks volumes to those who are watching. If we praise God with tears in those hard times of surrender, the door is open for hearts to be transformed by the work the Father is doing.
To have the faith and trust in God’s provision that Abraham did as he raised his knife to slay Isaac may seem impossible. But perhaps that is because we are putting restraints on what we believe Jesus can do if only we obey His voice. Learning to walk by faith and not by sight does not come natural, but we serve a loving God who wants to help us in a supernatural way. On the other side of those Isaac moments we see the spiritual fruit of the sacrificial seeds we planted. We do not produce the harvest. We are not the creator. But what a blessing it is to be one of Christ’s seed for His glory. There is no greater joy than to welcome new believers into the family of faith, and to walk in mutual love and encouragement towards heaven.
Looking back nine years I have gained some perspective on the cost of my offering even though I do not have full understanding of the reasons behind it. God is gracious to allow this limited view. It’s all I need to know today. Who would have thought that my story would be published and Jesus would use it to draw readers closer to Him? My career goals never including authoring a book and speaking to others about God’s extravagant love that He’s longing to share with them.
How about you? What is your Isaac? Have you left it on the altar, or are you running back to snatch it off before God’s work is finished? This has often been my struggle too. Let us pray together for Jesus to increase our faith. There is so much more He wants to do through us if only we would set aside our own agendas believing His is much better. “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about” (Genesis 22:2).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
April 19, 2001 was my first Isaac moment, but it hasn’t been my last. It was on that day my four-year battle to trust God completely for something I had wished for all my life culminated in a moment of joyful surrender. This was not of my own doing. The power of the Holy Spirit brought me to that altar, kept me there in stillness, and carried me through to healing on the other side. Although my sacrifice was differed from Abraham’s, there were some parallels.
Abraham was asked to offer up his child whom he’d loved and nurtured for many years. Isaac was a living being. My offering was only a dream, the desire for a child. Abraham’s altar was high on a mountain top in the thick brush with wildlife in his midst. Mine was a cold sterile operating room surrounded by a well-trained medical team. God had promised that Abraham’s genealogy would be more numerous than all the stars he could see, or the grains of sand he could count. Better still, the Messiah would come from his bloodline; from Isaac’s descendants. There was no profound promise from God to me. Still, He wanted to bring new life through my surrender just as He did with Abraham’s. Mine sprung forth in a different way; one that I never expected. The mystery is still unfolding.
Every Christian will face at least one Isaac moment. These are times of testing and cleansing when Jesus asks us to lay before Him all those people, plans, and possessions we have clung to so dearly. Why? Is God cruel? No! He simply has to remind us that while we live in the temporal there is eternal work to be accomplished, and He gives us the privilege of joining Him in this amazing birthing process. Does this mean you or I can save another person’s soul? No! Only the Holy Spirit can do that. But what’s going on in our lives speaks volumes to those who are watching. If we praise God with tears in those hard times of surrender, the door is open for hearts to be transformed by the work the Father is doing.
To have the faith and trust in God’s provision that Abraham did as he raised his knife to slay Isaac may seem impossible. But perhaps that is because we are putting restraints on what we believe Jesus can do if only we obey His voice. Learning to walk by faith and not by sight does not come natural, but we serve a loving God who wants to help us in a supernatural way. On the other side of those Isaac moments we see the spiritual fruit of the sacrificial seeds we planted. We do not produce the harvest. We are not the creator. But what a blessing it is to be one of Christ’s seed for His glory. There is no greater joy than to welcome new believers into the family of faith, and to walk in mutual love and encouragement towards heaven.
Looking back nine years I have gained some perspective on the cost of my offering even though I do not have full understanding of the reasons behind it. God is gracious to allow this limited view. It’s all I need to know today. Who would have thought that my story would be published and Jesus would use it to draw readers closer to Him? My career goals never including authoring a book and speaking to others about God’s extravagant love that He’s longing to share with them.
How about you? What is your Isaac? Have you left it on the altar, or are you running back to snatch it off before God’s work is finished? This has often been my struggle too. Let us pray together for Jesus to increase our faith. There is so much more He wants to do through us if only we would set aside our own agendas believing His is much better. “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about” (Genesis 22:2).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Great Words; Great Hope
"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said."
These are great words filled with hope for those who believe in the sacrifice on the cross, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Praise God we have a reason to celebrate! Jesus is not dead--He reigns in heaven, seated at His Father's right hand, and one day will return to rapture His followers. Knowing that we will one day be united with Him forever brings great joy to my heart.
I pray the miracle of the Easter message encourages you to rejoice in the knowledge that the victory has been won. Believers in Christ can celebrate resurrection day every day; not just once a year on Easter Sunday. Some of the greatest words man has ever heard ring true for all generations: "He is not here; He has risen, just as He said."
You fellow sojourner,
Mary
These are great words filled with hope for those who believe in the sacrifice on the cross, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Praise God we have a reason to celebrate! Jesus is not dead--He reigns in heaven, seated at His Father's right hand, and one day will return to rapture His followers. Knowing that we will one day be united with Him forever brings great joy to my heart.
I pray the miracle of the Easter message encourages you to rejoice in the knowledge that the victory has been won. Believers in Christ can celebrate resurrection day every day; not just once a year on Easter Sunday. Some of the greatest words man has ever heard ring true for all generations: "He is not here; He has risen, just as He said."
You fellow sojourner,
Mary
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