That Was Nice

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23)

Vows were exchanged on a warm summer day at the country home of her parents. The young bride aglow with her handsome young groom stood confident; eager to begin their journey. Whisked away to the reception hall the minister was unable to join them. Mother-of-the-bride beckons my help; asking me to say the blessing before the meal. Honored and scared for I don't take this task lightly, God put Psalm 145-3-4 in my heart. My prayer for these newlyweds is centered on these verses as I bow before the Lord. Returning to my seat and the comments of some guests, "Oh, that was nice" was all they said.

Pondering the fascination our society has with outlandish wedding ceremonies that give little credence to God's view of marriage I was grateful this family focused on Christ's blessing. After all, a beautiful wedding is a lovely event but a beautiful marriage is a lasting legacy for generations to come. This is my hope for this dashing young couple, that they seek to follow The Lord and teach their future children how to love Jesus.

Nearly twelve years since my own wedding day I praise God for the gift of my husband. As we continue to grown in our love and knowledge of the Lord and each other, I am continually learning that marriage is an on going ministry of sacrifice. We must seek to do what is best for the two of us (in accordance with God's Word), not what we individually desire. The process of "becoming one" as husband and wife goes on forever. It's more than a joining of hands and exchanging rings at the ceremony.

The Holy Spirit is our Helper. He will keep our hearts committed and faithful as we obey all that the Father has commanded. This surrender of our will to God's will is for our good and our protection! My hope for my marriage and all Christian unions is that people won't just say, "Oh, that was nice" but rather "Look what God did--I want that, too!" Seek the Lord with humility and repentance and He will give you much more than a great marriage. He will give you everlasting life whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23)

Your fellow herald for Jesus,

Mary  

Royal Gems

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on your hearts. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man" (Proverbs 3:3-4)

"What are you doing for Valentine's Day?" she asked while coloring the locks of my hair. A visit to the hair salon often leads to questions of holiday celebrations and ministry opportunities. "Nothing formal", I tell her with a smile, "every day is Valentine's Day in our house". As humbly as I could, I told her that my husband and I are so thankful God brought us together that we express our love daily in word and deed. She was intrigued and wanted to know more.

As she wrapped my head in foil to give me a sun-kissed glow I shared how he first saw me in church. Unbeknown to me (until Jon told me months later) it was my hair that first caught his eye. As we spent time together the character of each other was what we fell in love with. The outside package may have been the initial attractor, but if there was no inner beauty we wouldn't have lasted. There aren't enough jewels, clothing or cosmetics to cover up a deceitful or selfish heart.

She told me she wished her boyfriend would do more to express his love, like send her flowers on special occasions. I felt her pain. Every woman wants to feel adored by the man she loves. Sensing her sorrow I could have succumbed to male bashing or listing my husband's short-comings. But along with our marriage vows Jon and I promised to never speak ill of each other in public or to a friend. We edify and honor as we focus on the strengths the other person brings to our relationship. Our challenges are worked out between us with God's help, not in moments of idle chit chat with outsiders.

Honestly, the only person who will ever love any of us to the fullest is God. No other human being can replace Him. We all fail each other. If you want to know the greatest love there is, it's a personal intimate relationship with Jesus. If you want to be a bejeweled beauty, one whose gems will never fade, you must admit you are a sinner who can only be washed clean by Christ's blood on the cross. He will make you shine brightly with a heavenly glow and show you how to give and receive love as He intended.

Be faithful to study God's Word and let Him change you. The Bible is the Lord Almighty's love letter to us! It is not enough to memorize verses. The head and the heart must be one in love with God.  We must bury Scripture like rare diamonds in our heart for the King of Kings has shared Himself with us.

What adorns your neck and chest this Valentine's Day? Are they words of love, grace and forgiveness? We can only display on the outside what the Holy Spirit has implanted on the inside. Are you wearing God's royal gems? "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on your hearts. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man" (Proverbs 3:3-4)

Your fellow herald for Christ,

 Mary

Deep Love

"Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins" I Peter 4:8.

Remembering how deeply Christ loves me and extending that love to my husband as we celebrate our 9th anniversary this September.

Thanking God for blessing us beyond measure!

Praying you know the love of Jesus in your heart that enables you to love deeply. "Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins" I Peter 4:8.

Your fellow sojourner,

Mary

The Extended Single Years

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)."

Is being single becoming a disease you are trying to cure yourself of? Have voices of doubt from family and friends mingled with your own inner thoughts caused you to despair? Do whispers from Satan tell you if you were such a great catch you would already be caught? It wasn’t so long ago I would have answered yes to all of these questions until God began to change my heart, and my perspective. Slowly I began to realize being single was not a curse, but a time of blessed fellowship and preparation for my future.

There is nothing abnormal about desiring marriage. God created men and women to be joined together. While some people are perfectly comfortable remaining single their entire lives, the majority of us do want to get married. That being said, why does it have to be so complicated? I believe it’s because the goal is not simply to get married, but to be joined to the right spouse. Unfortunately, most couples have removed Christ from the relationship, or begrudgingly invite Him in as an unwelcome guest to be tolerated from time-to-time like a distant relative. We think we know best as we wonder why the divorce rate is so staggering.

Have you ever thought that God is protecting you from great harm by keeping you single? Do you trust that He would not withhold anything that is good from you? If marriage came so easily how tempting it would be to take your mate for granted. Maybe you feel you are ready, but the Lord may be working in the life of you future spouse. Wouldn’t you rather wait on God’s perfect timing to bring you together than to rush ahead and spoil the surprise? The longer you wait for something you really hope for, the greater the rejoicing when you behold it at last. Intense suffering in the single years can lead to greater commitment in marriage if you allow God to change your focus.

How do I know this? I was 43-years-old when I met my husband; married him at 44. There were two proposals before Jon’s. However, marrying any of those other guys would have had devastating consequences. Both those men cheated on their girlfriends and wives, including me. God was merciful; He saved me from greater pain than I had already experienced. Better still, He filled my heart with a love for Him and began to show me how we could partner through life together. If I let Him, Jesus would bring me the best husband for me, and prepare me to be a godly wife too.

My outlook on being single changed from gloomy to grateful as I dove into God’s Word daily. Bathed in His Scriptures, I surrendered the reins of control and asked the Holy Spirit to help me cooperate with His vision for my life. I gave God access to change my desire to be married, but if He planned to fulfill it I wanted the choice to be His. I prayed for God to work in my life and the life of my future husband, and for our union to honor Him. I was confident He had something really special planned for me. And He did!

If you are wondering why you are unmarried, ask God to reveal the answer before you make your own assumptions. If there are changes you need to make, the Lord will help you. The adversity and loneliness I faced in my single years strengthened me for marriage. Because I learned to turn to Jesus for wisdom, love and fellowship before and after I met Jon, my husband does not carry the responsibility only my Creator can fulfill. We cherish the gift of our marriage and the Giver who was our matchmaker. I pray you will use your single years to build up your relationship with Christ, and trust in His perfect plan for you. "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)."

Your fellow sojourner,

Mary

Continually Blessed

“May the Lord continually bless you with heaven’s blessings as well as with human joys” (Psalm 128:5).

NOTE: This photo was taken on September 5, 2009 in Hanging Rock State Park, NC by Jon's oldest daughter.
On September 7th Jon and I will celebrate seven years of marriage. Each year the anniversary carries a deeper meaning as we reflect on God’s providence. It’s a time of anticipation of what lies ahead, as we see how far God’s grace has carried us through the seasons. Hardship and happiness all roll into one beautiful tapestry that our Creator is designing. God’s blessings continue to amaze us as we acknowledge this marriage takes three of us to succeed.

You see, I was a bride before I met Jon. That Man was my first love, and it’s critical that I run to Him daily for wholeness, guidance and mercy. He’s selfless. In fact, He longs to be shared! This Man prepared Jon and me to be good to each other, long before we met. It brings Him great joy to see our human relationships flourish. He is eager to help. What a miracle it is that loving two men can create such harmony in my life.

This can only happen because Jesus is no ordinary man. He is the incarnation of God the Father, fully man and fully divine. Every year I celebrate the anniversary of our union in November. It is no less precious to me than my September wedding day shared with Jon. What a beautiful example of heaven’s blessings and human joys working in unison! Both involve trust, love and a life-long commitment to discovery. We never stop learning about each other, and finding new ways to grow closer.

Being saved while I was single was a great gift. God had my undivided attention, and could shape my heart for the mission He had planned for me. He taught me how to pray for the qualities a godly husband should have, and gave me discernment in my dating relationships. Until I gave Jesus control over the choice of my future mate, my selections were always second rate. Any joy I felt was superficial and fleeting. He filled my empty soul, and satisfied my deepest longing for acceptance. This took the pressure off of any human man to eradicate the hunger in me that only God can fulfill.

While life will always contain a compilation of experiences, earthly pleasures are short-lived. However, the blessings derived from our unity in Christ are eternal. As much as Jon and I love each other, we cannot guarantee we will always be there for one another. Humans disappoint. Death claims all of us one day, leaving loved ones behind. God is the one Person who never abandons us. This truth brings me such comfort! It is just one of the many constant blessings the Lord bestows on believers. Heavenly bliss is truly everlasting.

Celebrating the sacredness of my marriage to Jon is always overshadowed by the realization that I belong to Jesus too. No matter what our situation—single, married, divorced, widowed, there is a greater love available to each of us. All we need to do is R.S.V.P. with a resounding “yes!” to the wedding feast our King invites us to attend. Don’t delay your reply; won’t you join Him at the table reserved for His family members? Come celebrate this eternal anniversary with your Savior. “May the Lord continually bless you with heaven’s blessings as well as with human joys” (Psalm 128:5).
Your fellow sojourner,

Mary