Whom Shall I Send?

This was previously posted on my web site http://extravagantlife.net/site/ in January 2009.

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I, send me” (Isaiah 6:8)!

Have you reached the edge of the road you’ve been traveling on for awhile, and find you’re staring straight into the precipice; wondering what’s next? Me too! Perhaps you’re asking yourself the same question confronting me, “Do I back away from the cliff, turn around and revisit the road most familiar to me, or do I allow God to give me wings to fly miraculously off this secure turf into the wild headwinds?” This is where I’m perched in January, 2009. But how I arrived here was no accident. I was led by a voice so powerful it consumed all my inner critics shouting, “You’re not equipped for this. Don’t do it!”

In the last six months, my life has been accelerating at a pace faster than I can contain; pushing me to either render control of the steering wheel to God, or give up on my calling altogether. The tempter visits me when I’m tired and weak, whispering ever so softly that I shouldn’t press on because I lack the self-discipline, and knowledge, to complete the work before me. It’s scary here outside my comfort zone and area of expertise, but it’s exactly where the greatest adventure lives; the place where I trust God to intervene. For you see, it is His voice I’m following into a new career.

Where has He brought me? Into the public forum where I share my private life, at least parts of it. With the publishing of my book My Heart’s Desire: A Journey Toward Finding Extravagant Love came great excitement coupled with intense fear. I wanted to halt the publication, terrified of my self-inflicted invasion of privacy as my story was about to go global. I feared the reaction from readers absorbing personal experiences my writing revealed. It’s one thing to share intimate life details with loved ones and quite another to let the information soar over an internet blog, and through a paperback book, for strangers to digest.

With so much hesitancy, why am I willing to jump off this emotionally safe cliff I’ve so cleverly fabricated, in my own mind, into the great beyond with all its uncertainty? Because I made a promise to go forward when I heard Jesus calling me, and I know His power will sustain me; not my own. It’s an incredible feeling, standing at the crossroads, knowing the scenery is about to change because of the direction I’m headed. It requires faith to leap into the air trusting God will keep me aloft. But I love Him and want to go wherever He takes me because He’s given me the courage to do so.

How about you? Is God calling you out into uncharted territory for His service? It doesn’t have to be a big project such as writing a book or launching a speaking career. Jesus may need you to walk across the street and offer words of comfort to a hurting neighbor. What about mending a broken relationship with a friend or family member needing your forgiveness? Is Jesus asking you to serve in your church mentoring program, Sunday school class, or some obscure ministry that no one notices but God smiles upon? If He asked you to go on a mission trip, would you go? God loves us regardless of our response to His call to action. But what a shame it would be to miss the joy of witnessing Christ work through us if only we’d accepted His call instead of saying, “Sorry God, all circuits are busy.”

As I venture into this new world of writing and speaking, the Holy Spirit reminds me this is God’s glory road I’m traveling, and I need to take inventory. Whose name is on the street signs that point passersby in the right direction, mine or God’s? Am I making much of my own accomplishments, or His grace that makes all I do possible and successful? My prayer is to be a faithful conduit of God’s love, as I share the glorious things He’s doing in my life. Am I scared? Sometimes, but I’m more afraid of living with the regret of having said no to Him and yes to my insecurities. Can you relate?

If so, do not fear fellow believers in Christ. You are not without a guide, or a roadmap. As you pray to the Holy Trinity they will make the path of every winding turn clear, and provide directions through your daily Bible study. When you receive an answer, test every voice you hear against God’s Word so you may have soul peace and confirmation; proclaiming to others as you leave the curb embarking on God’s glory road trip, “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I, send me” (Isaiah 6:8)!
Hope to see you at an intersection soon!

Your fellow sojourner,

Mary