“Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Do you find yourself wrestling with God over why He has allowed things that test your patience? Life isn’t easy for most of us, yet we make it harder by tossing our anger at the One who is working to bring a blessing out of a curse. Oh, if I only I would cooperate with Him more instead of putting up a fight! So many of my greatest struggles turned out to be the greatest character-building moments when my spirit was teachable. At the time, they did not seem like a fork-in-the-road choice. But looking in the rear view mirror God sometimes affords me a glimpse of the importance of choosing wisely.
One of the first struggles I had to overcome was with food. It’s a common problem with many Americans. In the land of plenty we’re prone to overindulgence at every turn. I was never obese, but in my late teens I donned extra pounds that did not compliment my small frame. There were a host of reasons this was happened: less exercise, finding my solace in sweets when insecurities arose, and lack of nutritional understanding. After all, doesn’t a teenager have more important things to ponder than proteins, carbohydrates and fats? Sharing one of my self-pity moments with my college roommate, her retort rattled my self-absorbed mood, “You have so much potential. I don’t know why you don’t use what you’ve been given.”
Who, me? What potential do I have? And what am I so afraid of? My answer, success! For me, it had become easier to hold back. No one expects much of you if you’re living below your potential. Yet I knew my excuses where lame. I’d grown tired of my miserable jealous feelings when skinny friends feasted on treats without consequence. Two choices were available—stagnate and surrender to my food addiction, or take control and win. Strong in self-determination, I started a strict diet and exercise regimen. I absorbed every article I could find on these topics. God was not part of the equation back then. Emphasis on my strength was all I needed, or so I thought.
For awhile, I was winning the battle. In fact, the transformation was so dramatic that friends who hadn’t seen me in months didn’t recognize me. My hair was longer, my body was 25 pounds thinner, and contacts replaced my wire rim glasses. Success tasted sweet, but didn’t last long. My weight yo-yoed whenever I felt challenged, lonely, or insecure. Although the outside had changed the inside needed work. It took a health crisis in my thirties for God to reach me. He led me to a place that my strength could not hold me. Only placing my trust in Christ’s hands could.
It all seemed so cruel, so unfair when my health was jeopardized. I felt completely out of control after expanding so much effort to create a world-approved image of myself. Again, a fork-in-the-road appeared. Do I wallow in anger and abuse my body further, or do I turn to Jesus for the healing and peace I lack? Yes, it was wise to educate myself on healthy choices in food and exercise; but my diet had to include a daily dose of heavenly love. Without it I was starved, unsatisfied, and reaching for the wrong things to fill the void.
This wellness battle will always rage to some degree in my flesh, but praise God there has been victory! My weight swings are much less, and my palate desires the nutrients my body needs. No longer do I see self-restraint as punishment from God, but as loving boundaries that keep my mind, body and spirit in harmony. Perhaps that which you are fighting so strongly against will one day be your greatest ally if you invite Jesus into the war. “Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful” Romans 12:12.
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Somebody Else’s Three Pretty Girls
“They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing” (Psalm 92:14).
Nearly ten years ago I stumbled upon Psalm 92:14 and claimed it for myself. Still single and longing to be married with kids, I believed bearing fruit meant I was guaranteed the fulfillment of this promise as it pertained to physical childbearing. Because God brought this verse to my conscious awareness, surely He was telling me motherhood was in my future. Young in my relationship with Christ, I lacked discernment in how to properly interpret the Scriptures. I assumed the first thought that popped into my brain must be the message God was speaking to me. But I would soon learn I cannot play the role God assigned to the Holy Spirit. Only His Spirit can be the accurate translator of God’s word, and I do myself harm when I fail to ask for His wisdom.
Day after day I would stare at verses, hoping my fixation on them would grant me my wish. I plastered my work cubicle with various Scriptures, including Psalm 92:14. While it was good to surround myself with Scripture, it was more of an exercise in positive thinking techniques than praying with an open heart seeking God’s impartation of His will for my life. I had convinced myself there was only one way Jesus could bring glory to Himself and children into my life, by the traditional path of physical conception and birth. I was wrong. The Lord is never constrained by human limitations and while many of life’s experiences are physical, He is always working in the spiritual realm.
In September, 2002 I became a wife and mother on the same day. I married a man with three college-age daughters. Honestly, “stepmother” was not the title I was hoping for, and I struggled with the reality of it throughout my courtship with Jon. Was I going against God’s plan by failing to trust He could give me my own baby, or were these three girls His gift to me? They would never belong to me physically or legally. Like Jon, their birth mother was lovingly involved in their lives. Desiring to tread lightly as to never disrupt this sacred parent-child bond, I considered myself void of any responsibility for the girls’ moral upbringing. God would hold Jon and his ex-wife accountable for that, but not me, or so I thought.
As a newlywed, God extended me grace in my wrong attitudes until my faith matured enough to see my sin. I am not granted a “free pass” from being a light for Christ to anyone the Father brings into my sphere of influence. Yes, He has created me with a mind and will that can choose to ignore the privilege I have been given, but one day I will answer to Him for the choices I made. Slowly the Holy Spirit enabled me to understand that my stepdaughters will be affected by my words and actions, and I have an opportunity to be a godly mentor.
Making a difference for Christ in another’s life is my passion. It’s born out of my love for all that Jesus continues to do in me, and in gratitude for people He used to draw me closer to Him. I would like to tell you that I have a strong mentoring relationship with Jon’s girls, but it’s a delicate dance. Sometimes it appears we are making great progress, other days the chasm between our opposing views widens. I am learning to love as Christ loved me, unconditionally loving the sinner while not condoning the sin. It’s God’s love that brings us to repentance. My prayer is to be the Holy Spirit’s channel of love and forgiveness to others; a beacon that points them to Jesus.
May’s celebration of Mother’s Day brings motherhood into the forefront. Prompted by the recent visit of Jon’s daughters coupled with shopping excursions for friends’ baby showers, a small undercurrent of sadness rises to the surface of my heart. Pregnancy and child rearing is not something I wish I were experiencing today, but wish I had years earlier. It still seems out of character for me to have missed it. Praise God He reminds me that He is at work bringing forth spiritual fruit (children of God) through me even though I do not see it now! And He did answer my prayer for physical children. He gave me somebody else’s three pretty girls to love. Who has Jesus put in your life? “They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing” (Psalm 92:14).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Nearly ten years ago I stumbled upon Psalm 92:14 and claimed it for myself. Still single and longing to be married with kids, I believed bearing fruit meant I was guaranteed the fulfillment of this promise as it pertained to physical childbearing. Because God brought this verse to my conscious awareness, surely He was telling me motherhood was in my future. Young in my relationship with Christ, I lacked discernment in how to properly interpret the Scriptures. I assumed the first thought that popped into my brain must be the message God was speaking to me. But I would soon learn I cannot play the role God assigned to the Holy Spirit. Only His Spirit can be the accurate translator of God’s word, and I do myself harm when I fail to ask for His wisdom.
Day after day I would stare at verses, hoping my fixation on them would grant me my wish. I plastered my work cubicle with various Scriptures, including Psalm 92:14. While it was good to surround myself with Scripture, it was more of an exercise in positive thinking techniques than praying with an open heart seeking God’s impartation of His will for my life. I had convinced myself there was only one way Jesus could bring glory to Himself and children into my life, by the traditional path of physical conception and birth. I was wrong. The Lord is never constrained by human limitations and while many of life’s experiences are physical, He is always working in the spiritual realm.
In September, 2002 I became a wife and mother on the same day. I married a man with three college-age daughters. Honestly, “stepmother” was not the title I was hoping for, and I struggled with the reality of it throughout my courtship with Jon. Was I going against God’s plan by failing to trust He could give me my own baby, or were these three girls His gift to me? They would never belong to me physically or legally. Like Jon, their birth mother was lovingly involved in their lives. Desiring to tread lightly as to never disrupt this sacred parent-child bond, I considered myself void of any responsibility for the girls’ moral upbringing. God would hold Jon and his ex-wife accountable for that, but not me, or so I thought.
As a newlywed, God extended me grace in my wrong attitudes until my faith matured enough to see my sin. I am not granted a “free pass” from being a light for Christ to anyone the Father brings into my sphere of influence. Yes, He has created me with a mind and will that can choose to ignore the privilege I have been given, but one day I will answer to Him for the choices I made. Slowly the Holy Spirit enabled me to understand that my stepdaughters will be affected by my words and actions, and I have an opportunity to be a godly mentor.
Making a difference for Christ in another’s life is my passion. It’s born out of my love for all that Jesus continues to do in me, and in gratitude for people He used to draw me closer to Him. I would like to tell you that I have a strong mentoring relationship with Jon’s girls, but it’s a delicate dance. Sometimes it appears we are making great progress, other days the chasm between our opposing views widens. I am learning to love as Christ loved me, unconditionally loving the sinner while not condoning the sin. It’s God’s love that brings us to repentance. My prayer is to be the Holy Spirit’s channel of love and forgiveness to others; a beacon that points them to Jesus.
May’s celebration of Mother’s Day brings motherhood into the forefront. Prompted by the recent visit of Jon’s daughters coupled with shopping excursions for friends’ baby showers, a small undercurrent of sadness rises to the surface of my heart. Pregnancy and child rearing is not something I wish I were experiencing today, but wish I had years earlier. It still seems out of character for me to have missed it. Praise God He reminds me that He is at work bringing forth spiritual fruit (children of God) through me even though I do not see it now! And He did answer my prayer for physical children. He gave me somebody else’s three pretty girls to love. Who has Jesus put in your life? “They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing” (Psalm 92:14).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Monday, April 19, 2010
My Isaac Moment Nine Years Later
“Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about” (Genesis 22:2).
April 19, 2001 was my first Isaac moment, but it hasn’t been my last. It was on that day my four-year battle to trust God completely for something I had wished for all my life culminated in a moment of joyful surrender. This was not of my own doing. The power of the Holy Spirit brought me to that altar, kept me there in stillness, and carried me through to healing on the other side. Although my sacrifice was differed from Abraham’s, there were some parallels.
Abraham was asked to offer up his child whom he’d loved and nurtured for many years. Isaac was a living being. My offering was only a dream, the desire for a child. Abraham’s altar was high on a mountain top in the thick brush with wildlife in his midst. Mine was a cold sterile operating room surrounded by a well-trained medical team. God had promised that Abraham’s genealogy would be more numerous than all the stars he could see, or the grains of sand he could count. Better still, the Messiah would come from his bloodline; from Isaac’s descendants. There was no profound promise from God to me. Still, He wanted to bring new life through my surrender just as He did with Abraham’s. Mine sprung forth in a different way; one that I never expected. The mystery is still unfolding.
Every Christian will face at least one Isaac moment. These are times of testing and cleansing when Jesus asks us to lay before Him all those people, plans, and possessions we have clung to so dearly. Why? Is God cruel? No! He simply has to remind us that while we live in the temporal there is eternal work to be accomplished, and He gives us the privilege of joining Him in this amazing birthing process. Does this mean you or I can save another person’s soul? No! Only the Holy Spirit can do that. But what’s going on in our lives speaks volumes to those who are watching. If we praise God with tears in those hard times of surrender, the door is open for hearts to be transformed by the work the Father is doing.
To have the faith and trust in God’s provision that Abraham did as he raised his knife to slay Isaac may seem impossible. But perhaps that is because we are putting restraints on what we believe Jesus can do if only we obey His voice. Learning to walk by faith and not by sight does not come natural, but we serve a loving God who wants to help us in a supernatural way. On the other side of those Isaac moments we see the spiritual fruit of the sacrificial seeds we planted. We do not produce the harvest. We are not the creator. But what a blessing it is to be one of Christ’s seed for His glory. There is no greater joy than to welcome new believers into the family of faith, and to walk in mutual love and encouragement towards heaven.
Looking back nine years I have gained some perspective on the cost of my offering even though I do not have full understanding of the reasons behind it. God is gracious to allow this limited view. It’s all I need to know today. Who would have thought that my story would be published and Jesus would use it to draw readers closer to Him? My career goals never including authoring a book and speaking to others about God’s extravagant love that He’s longing to share with them.
How about you? What is your Isaac? Have you left it on the altar, or are you running back to snatch it off before God’s work is finished? This has often been my struggle too. Let us pray together for Jesus to increase our faith. There is so much more He wants to do through us if only we would set aside our own agendas believing His is much better. “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about” (Genesis 22:2).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
April 19, 2001 was my first Isaac moment, but it hasn’t been my last. It was on that day my four-year battle to trust God completely for something I had wished for all my life culminated in a moment of joyful surrender. This was not of my own doing. The power of the Holy Spirit brought me to that altar, kept me there in stillness, and carried me through to healing on the other side. Although my sacrifice was differed from Abraham’s, there were some parallels.
Abraham was asked to offer up his child whom he’d loved and nurtured for many years. Isaac was a living being. My offering was only a dream, the desire for a child. Abraham’s altar was high on a mountain top in the thick brush with wildlife in his midst. Mine was a cold sterile operating room surrounded by a well-trained medical team. God had promised that Abraham’s genealogy would be more numerous than all the stars he could see, or the grains of sand he could count. Better still, the Messiah would come from his bloodline; from Isaac’s descendants. There was no profound promise from God to me. Still, He wanted to bring new life through my surrender just as He did with Abraham’s. Mine sprung forth in a different way; one that I never expected. The mystery is still unfolding.
Every Christian will face at least one Isaac moment. These are times of testing and cleansing when Jesus asks us to lay before Him all those people, plans, and possessions we have clung to so dearly. Why? Is God cruel? No! He simply has to remind us that while we live in the temporal there is eternal work to be accomplished, and He gives us the privilege of joining Him in this amazing birthing process. Does this mean you or I can save another person’s soul? No! Only the Holy Spirit can do that. But what’s going on in our lives speaks volumes to those who are watching. If we praise God with tears in those hard times of surrender, the door is open for hearts to be transformed by the work the Father is doing.
To have the faith and trust in God’s provision that Abraham did as he raised his knife to slay Isaac may seem impossible. But perhaps that is because we are putting restraints on what we believe Jesus can do if only we obey His voice. Learning to walk by faith and not by sight does not come natural, but we serve a loving God who wants to help us in a supernatural way. On the other side of those Isaac moments we see the spiritual fruit of the sacrificial seeds we planted. We do not produce the harvest. We are not the creator. But what a blessing it is to be one of Christ’s seed for His glory. There is no greater joy than to welcome new believers into the family of faith, and to walk in mutual love and encouragement towards heaven.
Looking back nine years I have gained some perspective on the cost of my offering even though I do not have full understanding of the reasons behind it. God is gracious to allow this limited view. It’s all I need to know today. Who would have thought that my story would be published and Jesus would use it to draw readers closer to Him? My career goals never including authoring a book and speaking to others about God’s extravagant love that He’s longing to share with them.
How about you? What is your Isaac? Have you left it on the altar, or are you running back to snatch it off before God’s work is finished? This has often been my struggle too. Let us pray together for Jesus to increase our faith. There is so much more He wants to do through us if only we would set aside our own agendas believing His is much better. “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about” (Genesis 22:2).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Great Words; Great Hope
"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said."
These are great words filled with hope for those who believe in the sacrifice on the cross, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Praise God we have a reason to celebrate! Jesus is not dead--He reigns in heaven, seated at His Father's right hand, and one day will return to rapture His followers. Knowing that we will one day be united with Him forever brings great joy to my heart.
I pray the miracle of the Easter message encourages you to rejoice in the knowledge that the victory has been won. Believers in Christ can celebrate resurrection day every day; not just once a year on Easter Sunday. Some of the greatest words man has ever heard ring true for all generations: "He is not here; He has risen, just as He said."
You fellow sojourner,
Mary
These are great words filled with hope for those who believe in the sacrifice on the cross, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Praise God we have a reason to celebrate! Jesus is not dead--He reigns in heaven, seated at His Father's right hand, and one day will return to rapture His followers. Knowing that we will one day be united with Him forever brings great joy to my heart.
I pray the miracle of the Easter message encourages you to rejoice in the knowledge that the victory has been won. Believers in Christ can celebrate resurrection day every day; not just once a year on Easter Sunday. Some of the greatest words man has ever heard ring true for all generations: "He is not here; He has risen, just as He said."
You fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Glory Bound
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God” (Colossians 3:1).
Last Friday a close friend lost her nine-month battle with cancer. While we knew the end was inevitable, none of us expected it that particular day. She’d had a good week; I was looking forward to seeing her on Saturday. Two weeks earlier I’d booked a flight to New York where a planned gathering with our mutual girlfriends was scheduled for that afternoon. But it was not to be. The night before my flight the news we’d been dreading came calling. She’d had a seizure and never woke up. Her soul was glory bound.
This was my first experience helping a seriously ill friend prepare for heaven. In the weeks leading up to her departure I held nothing back with regard to spiritual matters. Praise God His Spirit prepared me and prompted me to share what He placed on my heart! While there have been moments of weeping these last few days, I’m filled with great peace because she is with her Lord and Savior.
In the home of one of our girlfriends we assembled to share photos, stories, laughter and tears over the loss of our friend. What a blessing to have these special relationships that were formed in our childhood years. Of the twelve of us she was the first to die, and yet I know she is more alive now than she has ever been. She’s seen God! How I wish I could get her commentary on that meeting, but one day that sweet conversation will take place.
Before leaving my friends to return to my family, one of the girls asked me to lead the group in prayer. Standing side-by-side hand-in-hand we offered praise to the Father for His glorious abundant blessings. We thanked Him for mercifully taking our friend peacefully and with dignity. Those who witnessed her death saw no suffering. She is now healed and whole in heaven, and we grieve with hope of the reunion we’ll have with her there. This separation is only temporary.
As we slowly resume our daily routines now that her funeral has passed, I smile as I see Jesus at work. We watched a loved one die, but in reality we have learned how to really live. Grace abounds, forgiveness is more easily granted, broken relationships are healing, and people are examining their faith walk. It’s all good and it’s all because of God.
For those who have believed in salvation by Christ alone, we are gifted by His Holy Spirit to display His love and glory. In Him our earthly life takes on new meaning and we find joy even in sorrow. What a privilege to be used by Jesus to offer true and lasting hope to a hurting world as we invite others to join the glory bound. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God” (Colossians 3:1).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Last Friday a close friend lost her nine-month battle with cancer. While we knew the end was inevitable, none of us expected it that particular day. She’d had a good week; I was looking forward to seeing her on Saturday. Two weeks earlier I’d booked a flight to New York where a planned gathering with our mutual girlfriends was scheduled for that afternoon. But it was not to be. The night before my flight the news we’d been dreading came calling. She’d had a seizure and never woke up. Her soul was glory bound.
This was my first experience helping a seriously ill friend prepare for heaven. In the weeks leading up to her departure I held nothing back with regard to spiritual matters. Praise God His Spirit prepared me and prompted me to share what He placed on my heart! While there have been moments of weeping these last few days, I’m filled with great peace because she is with her Lord and Savior.
In the home of one of our girlfriends we assembled to share photos, stories, laughter and tears over the loss of our friend. What a blessing to have these special relationships that were formed in our childhood years. Of the twelve of us she was the first to die, and yet I know she is more alive now than she has ever been. She’s seen God! How I wish I could get her commentary on that meeting, but one day that sweet conversation will take place.
Before leaving my friends to return to my family, one of the girls asked me to lead the group in prayer. Standing side-by-side hand-in-hand we offered praise to the Father for His glorious abundant blessings. We thanked Him for mercifully taking our friend peacefully and with dignity. Those who witnessed her death saw no suffering. She is now healed and whole in heaven, and we grieve with hope of the reunion we’ll have with her there. This separation is only temporary.
As we slowly resume our daily routines now that her funeral has passed, I smile as I see Jesus at work. We watched a loved one die, but in reality we have learned how to really live. Grace abounds, forgiveness is more easily granted, broken relationships are healing, and people are examining their faith walk. It’s all good and it’s all because of God.
For those who have believed in salvation by Christ alone, we are gifted by His Holy Spirit to display His love and glory. In Him our earthly life takes on new meaning and we find joy even in sorrow. What a privilege to be used by Jesus to offer true and lasting hope to a hurting world as we invite others to join the glory bound. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God” (Colossians 3:1).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Tell Jesus Thank You
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).
It was an “out of the boat” moment; one I had been praying for. But when it arrived I almost let it pass out of fear. Stepping forward in faith is often much easier to talk about than live out, especially when others are watching you. My first reaction, when talking to a dying friend long distance as a mutual friend placed her cell phone on speaker, was to play it safe; not rock the boat of anyone’s spiritual convictions. After all, who am I to cast judgment on her faith? It’s not polite to seek assurance of her salvation, is what my mind was saying. But isn’t that what real love does? Shouldn’t I share the truth of Christ’s penalty for our sins so those who believe this will be guaranteed a place in heaven with Him? Now or never had arrived and I had a choice to make.
The call with my friend was pre-arranged the day before. My friend is losing her ability to speak and write. She’s dying of brain cancer. Knowing friends would be visiting her on Wednesday, the time was set for me to call one of the women’s cell phone. After a restless night with little sleep, I felt a strong urging to pray with her on the phone. Hours before the call I said, “Lord, you calmed the raging seas when you walked on water. Surely you can calm the storm that rages in my girlfriend’s head, even for a little while”. Simple as that prayer was, it carried a big request. My friend had not been able to make complete sentences for a week. In my hour of need I was asking for a miracle—the ability for her to understand me and me to understand her.
When I dialed the number I had no idea what I would find on the other end. Each day brings many changes in my friend’s condition. The cancer is spreading rapidly. My girlfriend, whose cell number I was calling, had offered to be the mediator as she held up her phone on speaker. A third girlfriend introduced herself, so now there were four of us connected. Nervously I said hello to my dying friend. To my delight a beautiful exchange of words took place between us. I was able to tell her I loved her and she replied in kind. What joy! But God told me I wasn’t done yet.
In an instant, I asked if it would be alright if I prayed with her. She muffled “yes” along with my girlfriend’s utterance of “go for it, Mare” setting the stage. Fumbling at first, I felt the Holy Spirit guiding me out of my comfort zone. Suddenly I was speaking as He directed. Recently my friend had slyly interjected into a sentence that she would put in a good word for me. This statement came on the heels of her latest MRI results—the tumor was growing and time was running out. I did not initially understand what she meant. Then it hit me. She was offering to put in a good word for me when she went to heaven.
There was no time to waste. Jesus had given me this chance to share Scriptures with her, and to tell her something precious. “When you get to heaven tell Jesus I said thank you”. As the cell phone owner began to speak she couldn’t contain her excitement. She hadn’t seen our sick friend so lucid and able to complete a sentence until this exchange. Praise God for this moment! He’d taken my trembling spirit and walked beside me that day. I felt as if I were really in that hospital room hundreds of miles away.
In this season of grief I am learning from death how to really live. I want to have more moments like Peter did—scared but willing to step out of the boat into the raging water where only complete dependency on Christ can uphold me. As I make this journey, I am comforted by the reality that God wants to bring glory to His name through all who are willing to trust and obey. What a treasure to be able to share with my friends that for all who love Jesus the best is yet to come. I’m still telling God “thank you” for this story, and for the gift of eternal life. Are you? “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
It was an “out of the boat” moment; one I had been praying for. But when it arrived I almost let it pass out of fear. Stepping forward in faith is often much easier to talk about than live out, especially when others are watching you. My first reaction, when talking to a dying friend long distance as a mutual friend placed her cell phone on speaker, was to play it safe; not rock the boat of anyone’s spiritual convictions. After all, who am I to cast judgment on her faith? It’s not polite to seek assurance of her salvation, is what my mind was saying. But isn’t that what real love does? Shouldn’t I share the truth of Christ’s penalty for our sins so those who believe this will be guaranteed a place in heaven with Him? Now or never had arrived and I had a choice to make.
The call with my friend was pre-arranged the day before. My friend is losing her ability to speak and write. She’s dying of brain cancer. Knowing friends would be visiting her on Wednesday, the time was set for me to call one of the women’s cell phone. After a restless night with little sleep, I felt a strong urging to pray with her on the phone. Hours before the call I said, “Lord, you calmed the raging seas when you walked on water. Surely you can calm the storm that rages in my girlfriend’s head, even for a little while”. Simple as that prayer was, it carried a big request. My friend had not been able to make complete sentences for a week. In my hour of need I was asking for a miracle—the ability for her to understand me and me to understand her.
When I dialed the number I had no idea what I would find on the other end. Each day brings many changes in my friend’s condition. The cancer is spreading rapidly. My girlfriend, whose cell number I was calling, had offered to be the mediator as she held up her phone on speaker. A third girlfriend introduced herself, so now there were four of us connected. Nervously I said hello to my dying friend. To my delight a beautiful exchange of words took place between us. I was able to tell her I loved her and she replied in kind. What joy! But God told me I wasn’t done yet.
In an instant, I asked if it would be alright if I prayed with her. She muffled “yes” along with my girlfriend’s utterance of “go for it, Mare” setting the stage. Fumbling at first, I felt the Holy Spirit guiding me out of my comfort zone. Suddenly I was speaking as He directed. Recently my friend had slyly interjected into a sentence that she would put in a good word for me. This statement came on the heels of her latest MRI results—the tumor was growing and time was running out. I did not initially understand what she meant. Then it hit me. She was offering to put in a good word for me when she went to heaven.
There was no time to waste. Jesus had given me this chance to share Scriptures with her, and to tell her something precious. “When you get to heaven tell Jesus I said thank you”. As the cell phone owner began to speak she couldn’t contain her excitement. She hadn’t seen our sick friend so lucid and able to complete a sentence until this exchange. Praise God for this moment! He’d taken my trembling spirit and walked beside me that day. I felt as if I were really in that hospital room hundreds of miles away.
In this season of grief I am learning from death how to really live. I want to have more moments like Peter did—scared but willing to step out of the boat into the raging water where only complete dependency on Christ can uphold me. As I make this journey, I am comforted by the reality that God wants to bring glory to His name through all who are willing to trust and obey. What a treasure to be able to share with my friends that for all who love Jesus the best is yet to come. I’m still telling God “thank you” for this story, and for the gift of eternal life. Are you? “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Overindulgence Encouraged
“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him” (Psalm 34:8).
Six weeks post New Years Eve, how are your resolutions going? Did your list include trimming back on unnecessary expenses in order to live more fiscally balanced? What about your diet? Are you eating less but still not healthy? Were you like me; feeling undernourished and over stimulated after the holidays? Has the thought of consuming anything sweet lost its appeal? Have you abandoned those well-crafted goals and reverted to overspending and overeating just in time for today’s Super Bowl parties? Maybe it’s time to go to a place where overindulgence is encouraged. Care to join me?
As I wrote the goals and dreams in January I hoped to accomplish in 2010, I did something different this year. I prayed for God to give me a list that reveals what He wants to do through me and in me. In years past I’d make the list without consulting Him; then pray for His help to fulfill my desires. I had it backwards. God does not exist to serve me, but I to serve Him. His plans are perfectly designed to transform me into the image of His Son. In the end, following God’s resolutions will find me happier than checking off a self-constructed list of items I hope to experience one day.
Asking Jesus to help me formulate my list, I held nothing back as He encouraged overindulgence of Him. God wants me to spend as much time as possible feasting on the tenderness of His words written to satisfy every hunger soul. God never says to us, “You’ve had enough of Me, Mary. Go away and stop grabbing one more morsel of truth from my Scriptures. You’ve prayed so much you are overflowing to maximum capacity.” On the contrary! God is always offering us more of Himself without limitation.
Of all the sweetness that life’s pleasures hold, there is none as satisfying as the love of my Lord. God is always willing I partake in the bounty of His presence. The Bible is full of God’s delightful recipes that are blessings for our lives beyond anything we can create ourselves. My desire for the rest of my days is to fill my palate with all that the Father wants to give me. The Scriptures are a paradox of delicacies that quench my deepest longings while leaving me hungry and thirsty for more. What a treat!
Won’t you come to the table the Lord has prepared for you to sample His goodness and mercy? It’s the place where sinners are welcome and forgiveness is granted when hearts are repentant and surrendered to Christ. His soul-food menu is an all-you-can-eat buffet, and your bill has been paid with His shed blood. Jesus extends the invitation to everyone to accept His sacrificial payment, but you can’t join this feast until you respond with heartfelt thanks.
One taste of His heavenly sustenance will find you increasing your helping size. You will joyfully discover He delights when we overindulge on all His offerings. We cannot be overweight in the goodness of God, only underweight if we push ourselves away from the table believing we’ve had enough. No need to worry about portion control—keep asking for more! God is a generous giver and wants His children to be well fed. “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him” (Psalm 34:8).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
Six weeks post New Years Eve, how are your resolutions going? Did your list include trimming back on unnecessary expenses in order to live more fiscally balanced? What about your diet? Are you eating less but still not healthy? Were you like me; feeling undernourished and over stimulated after the holidays? Has the thought of consuming anything sweet lost its appeal? Have you abandoned those well-crafted goals and reverted to overspending and overeating just in time for today’s Super Bowl parties? Maybe it’s time to go to a place where overindulgence is encouraged. Care to join me?
As I wrote the goals and dreams in January I hoped to accomplish in 2010, I did something different this year. I prayed for God to give me a list that reveals what He wants to do through me and in me. In years past I’d make the list without consulting Him; then pray for His help to fulfill my desires. I had it backwards. God does not exist to serve me, but I to serve Him. His plans are perfectly designed to transform me into the image of His Son. In the end, following God’s resolutions will find me happier than checking off a self-constructed list of items I hope to experience one day.
Asking Jesus to help me formulate my list, I held nothing back as He encouraged overindulgence of Him. God wants me to spend as much time as possible feasting on the tenderness of His words written to satisfy every hunger soul. God never says to us, “You’ve had enough of Me, Mary. Go away and stop grabbing one more morsel of truth from my Scriptures. You’ve prayed so much you are overflowing to maximum capacity.” On the contrary! God is always offering us more of Himself without limitation.
Of all the sweetness that life’s pleasures hold, there is none as satisfying as the love of my Lord. God is always willing I partake in the bounty of His presence. The Bible is full of God’s delightful recipes that are blessings for our lives beyond anything we can create ourselves. My desire for the rest of my days is to fill my palate with all that the Father wants to give me. The Scriptures are a paradox of delicacies that quench my deepest longings while leaving me hungry and thirsty for more. What a treat!
Won’t you come to the table the Lord has prepared for you to sample His goodness and mercy? It’s the place where sinners are welcome and forgiveness is granted when hearts are repentant and surrendered to Christ. His soul-food menu is an all-you-can-eat buffet, and your bill has been paid with His shed blood. Jesus extends the invitation to everyone to accept His sacrificial payment, but you can’t join this feast until you respond with heartfelt thanks.
One taste of His heavenly sustenance will find you increasing your helping size. You will joyfully discover He delights when we overindulge on all His offerings. We cannot be overweight in the goodness of God, only underweight if we push ourselves away from the table believing we’ve had enough. No need to worry about portion control—keep asking for more! God is a generous giver and wants His children to be well fed. “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him” (Psalm 34:8).
Your fellow sojourner,
Mary
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