The Scary Place of Grace

"For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told" (Habakkuk 1:5).

This was the summer of change. Two years in the making, my husband's company merger was completed and our tenure in Raleigh ended. An offer on our house came from the first viewers hours after being listed. The sale closed on September 13 seventeen years to the day I came to Raleigh from Boston. It is God's plan that wisked us away from the home and friends that we loved. Change is scary and so is grace.

Why is grace a scary place to be? Because it means we're not in control. It was only an illusion that we ever were to begin with. We do our best to execute our plans, but it's the Lord that determines our path. God's grace is our hope and peace when the uncertain future frightens us as we mourn our comfortable past. Grace helps us to let go of our tightly clenched hands and reach for God's ever-loving hand. 

With big dreams and big sunglasses to cover the big tears I cried, I drove behind my husband's overloaded pickup truck to Charlotte. It's been almost two weeks now. We are living in a hotel in Uptown Charlotte as we house hunt in the suburbs. Each morning God meets me in my prayer time and His Spirit comforts me. I feel Him as I walk the city streets breathing silent prayers for family and friends as well as strangers passing briskly by. Grace has helped us adjust to this change.

These days Jon and I feel God's presence in magnitude. He has steered us away from houses we thought were right for us, so we are confident He will confirm the exact place we should purchase. Change is unsettling and that is good! Christ needs to shake us up to wake us up. Grace is becoming less scary as our trust in Him is increasing.

Are you scared of major change in your life? It's natural to be hesitant but don't let your worries consume you. Take them to the Lord and watch His supernatural power work miracles in your life. This journey is where you will see His grace in abundance and your trust in God will increase if you release your fears. Don't be scared, be excited! "For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you wer told" Habakkuk 1:5.

Your fellow herald for Christ,

Mary

The God Who Sees and Hears

"You are the God who sees me" (Genesis 16:13).

 

Statistics reveal that moving is one of the most stressful events in a person's life, especially when it involves relocating to another city. I've done this before, but it was always my choice to go. This time it's driven by corporate decisions and God's providence. With tears in my eyes and a heavy heart I'm learning to embrace the transition. It's hard leaving the place my husband and I have loved more than any other, and the people who made it so special.

Still, there are blessings that arise if I silence my whimpering voice long enough to hear God's whispers of comfort. They come in the most ordinary and mundane moments of every day life, yet they are extraordinarily sweet like honey for my soul. Praying for favor with a buyer, while scrubbing the floor for our home showing, God assured me that somewhere in another kitchen another wife is doing the same thing. And He sees us both and hears our cries for answered prayers.

El Roi, "The God who sees me". That is how Hagar described the Lord who met her in the desert and spoke to her. Alone, abandoned and pregnant she was cast out from Abraham because of Sarah's jealous rage (Genesis Chapter 16). But God saw her anguish and came to her rescue. The same God sees me and He sees you. He hears our prayers and will provide for us. 

Before a single word is uttered from our lips the Lord's ear is attuned to our needs (Isaiah 65:24). Like a loving parent He watches over us day and night, and delights in hearing our voice. Won't you take your cares to Jesus who brings them to the Father? While we may feel invisible and unnoticed by the world around us, praise God He is our everlasting and all powerful El Roi! "You are the God who sees me" (Genesis 16:13).

Your fellow herald for Christ,

Mary  

Walking in Enemy Territory

When I said, "My foot is slipping, your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul" (Psalm 94:18-19).

It was his first deployment. Young, confident and naive, he treads gingerly on foreign soil. As a sniper, this was the mission he’d been trained for; he wasn’t supposed to be scared. Yet the weight of his rifle was no match for the heaviness in his heart. This was no drill; he was walking in enemy territory.

Adrenaline propelled him forward deeper into the treacherous landscape. His mind was racing as he silently thought, “How did I end up here?” Before his voluntary enlistment many had warned him to forgo this path. Strong and proud, he set forth in motion the choices that led him here. It was too late to turn back now. Immersed in war he had to face it.

Danger surrounded him as he pressed his boot into the muddy terrain unaware of the IED buried beneath the surface. It was no secret he was walking in a landmine, but he always believed he would be safe. In an instant his reality was shattered. With a loud explosion and a mighty force, he was thrust into the air landing hard in a field several feet from his last step. His vision temporarily blurred by the dirt and sweat in his eyes he mustered the courage to gaze at his feet, hoping the pain he felt was a good sign.

Miraculously, he had survived intact! The IED only partially detonated because of the soggy ground it was buried in. His physical injuries would bring him back to America for healing; they were not life threatening. He would walk again. However, this brush with death had scarred him in other ways. He battles post traumatic stress syndrome. Those wounds are not as quick to heal, but they may be the ones that lead him to rely on Jesus for restoration.

Have you wandered into spiritual enemy territory feeling so sure footed you can handle the opposition? Turn back now! Discernment comes when we spend time in God’s Word and in prayer. It is the surest way to avoid experiencing the post traumatic stress of sin. Look to Jesus for protection. He is the most powerful weapon against evil there is. When I said, "My foot is slipping, your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul" (Psalm 94:18-19).


Your fellow sojourner,

Mary

Who is in Control?

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

“God is My Co-pilot” the catchy bumper sticker read with a crucifix beside those words. Sounding so clever and right, why did it make me feel uneasy? If God is my co-pilot that means I’m still in charge, or does it? Longing to silence the discussion in my head, I looked up the meaning of co-pilot in the dictionary. Here’s what is said, “A qualified pilot who assists or relieves the pilot but is not in command.” Uh oh, sounds like that bumper sticker needs a rewrite!

Have you ever made a decision without consulting God first that left you stranded and begging for help? So often I run ahead of Jesus with all my dreams of grandeur asking Him to bless my plans when the ride gets too bumpy. I have reduced God to some roadside assistance genie that exists to smooth out trouble spots instead of seeking His will in prayer. Without realizing it, I had switched places and made myself God’s co-pilot. What a frightening thought!

Our imaginations can take us on a wild ride, but not always to places God wants us to go. To reach the destination He created us for, we need to read God’s roadmap and follow His directions. Reading the Bible and praying for God’s instruction will keep you from running off course. “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

Do not fear giving Jesus control to drive the all-terrain vehicle of your life. Ask Him to show you which way to go before you set out on your daily trip. Abide and listen for His voice; then follow the path in obedience He designed for you. He will empower you to accomplish His plans for your life. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

Your fellow sojourner,

Mary

More Than We Can Handle

“I will lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2).

Crushed in spirit by an unexpected crisis, I broke down in tears. How much more can I handle, God? My already full plate shattered when the news that a family member was in serious trouble was heaped upon it. It was the kind of trouble I was powerless to fix. Looking for encouragement from friends their cavalier response, “You’re strong, have faith, God won’t give you more than you can handle” made me want to scream in rebuttal. Can you relate?

Does God give us more than we can handle? I believe He does. Is it because God is unsympathetic and delights in seeing us suffer? No, it’s because He wants us to surrender the problem to Him for help. Have you ever posed the question of God’s goodness and mercy to your friends only to receive a reply that made you feel more discouraged and alienated? We interpret this as unfair when Jesus allows comments from well-meaning friends to baffle and frustrate us. But if we probe the Scriptures we begin to see that the Lord longs to be our greatest source of comfort.

Honestly, if we could solve all our problems ourselves, or by following the advice of others, why would we need God’s help? As life clutters our minds we forget we were created to know God, to love God, and to worship Him. Often it takes a “beyond our control” situation to bring us to our knees in prayer. Jesus is not being cruel when He allows trouble to befall us. He’s using it to draw us near to Him because He is the one person who will never abandon us.

God who is perfect created us for human relationships, but we are all imperfect beings. None of us can adequately meet anyone’s needs no matter how much we love them. It’s not that we shouldn’t seek human advice, but what happens if that person cannot help, or they die? Are we left without counsel or comfort? No, because God is all powerful and everlasting. That is why we seek Christ first. Sometimes He speaks to us through others, but always He talks to us through His Word.

Learning to trust in the Lord takes time and practice. If you spend time talking with God about life’s heartaches you will find the peace you are seeking, even if the problem hasn’t been resolved. Psalm 121:8 says, “The Lord will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore.” He can and will handle whatever you give Him.

Your fellow sojourner,

Mary

The Wake-up Call

“It’s better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man” (Psalm 118:8).


Last Wednesday was one of those “wake-up call” moments when I learned I would be taking reduction in pay along with my work hours. Management advised us it was time for everyone to sacrifice and “take one for the team” in order to avoid downsizing of staff. Ironically, it was nearly two years ago that we began working unpaid overtime in order to keep our jobs after others were let go. Although I work for man God has once more confirmed I cannot place my trust in humans.

This cut back is not the result of a slowdown in business but a reaction to Wall Street’s projection on company stock earnings. The news stung as many of us felt betrayed by an employed we’d labored long and hard for. I am grateful no one lost their job and that I still have one. It wasn’t the loss of money I was upset about; it was the injustice of being treated so unfairly after working tirelessly for years. What a sad reflection of the values of corporate America.

In this time of economic uncertainty there have been many blessings to thank God for. One is that we have saved some money for a crisis such as this. I am more concerned about my co-workers who have not been as fortunate. There were times in my life I also lived paycheck to paycheck. It could happen again, but for now we are cutting back further on expenses and able to manage. We have a home, food to eat, and the ability to give to others in greater need. God is gracious to provide so much. He is great even when life is not!

The greatest blessing is the allotment of extra time to spend with my husband. We cherish each other’s company and are making the most of this situation. The last few mornings we have hiked in the state park up the road before work. Now that my day starts later we have this luxury when Jon’s schedule allows. As I breathe in the crisp morning air and watch the sunlight streaming through the misty speckled forest, I am struck by the beauty all around me. Slowly I relax and feel the Lord speaking to me on the trail and changing my perspective.

As I navigate the paths cluttered with fallen leaves sometimes I cannot see which way I should walk. More than once Jon has had to call me back if I am leading us astray. It’s easy to do when I’m relying on my own internal compass to get us through the wilderness instead of the signs provided for me. The trail markers are blue triangles. Sometimes they are close together and easily identifiable. Other times they are far apart. It takes a bit of faith to keep walking in the right direction until I see my next triangle.

Such is life. It’s easy to trek along without a care when our path is clear in the summer moments contrary to when it’s covered up by life’s debris in autumn. As I search for the blue triangle to keep me safe in the woods, Jesus is calling me to look to the Trinity for ultimate protection. He will never leave me stranded or change the rules about my future as my employer has done. The Father has a great adventure planned for His followers in heaven, and He helps us to endure life on earth now. What a wonderful God we love and serve!

Perhaps you are facing your own “wake-up call”. With each new challenge I pray you will join me in bringing your fears to Jesus where He can soothe and heal you. One day none of this will hurt anymore. The Lord will avenge all iniquities in this world. I am not bitter towards my employer even though I was angry last week. In the final analysis I know who I really work for, and He is not an oppressive employer. I pray you, too, have put your faith in Jesus instead of yourself or any other human to save you. “It’s better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man” (Psalm 118:8).

Your fellow sojourner,

Mary

Defeating the Joy-Robber, Worry

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34).

Have you ever noticed how far and how fast worry can take you down the path of despair? There’s nothing like imaging tragic calamities to rob whatever joy you may otherwise be experiencing. The devil always strikes at the time when distracting me from God’s truth stands to weaken my faith if left unchecked. It happened this morning in church when I was feeling a bit lonely, and vulnerable.

Jon works a rotating shift which often prevents him from attending service with me. Many Sundays I am unaffected by worshiping without my husband beside me, but this was not one of them. No sooner had the singing begun when my mind spiraled with thoughts of doom. “What will I do if something happens to Jon? How will I manage life as a widow? Is this a vision of more lonely church services to come?”

Taking inventory, I knew what prompted these fears of dread. Some were founded in the reality of close friends who have recently lost their spouse through death or divorce. Such catastrophes often lead to quiet introspection and empathy whenever I try to place my own feet in the shoes being worn by another. That is not a bad thing as it can make me more compassionate toward their suffering. After all, it could be my grief today instead of theirs. But I was also aware Satan was attacking me. Worry is his tactic, not God’s.

Presently Jon and I are healthy and so is our marriage. It’s only God’s grace that keeps us from facing a heartbreaking trial, and we don’t know when one will come. I am not a worrier by nature. This does not mean I never think about death of a loved one, serious illness or job loss. I have lived through all of these. But to devote energy to something that is not happening now is not only a waste of time, it’s sinful. Worry does not improve life. It only serves to stifle creativity, and hope, and to drown out God’s voice when we most need to hear Him.

Worry shows a lack of trust in the Lord’s provision and fosters doubt in His authority over my life. When I’m fretting over problems (real or imagined) my mind is focused on my own limited capacity to “handle” the situation. No wonder I’m frightened! If I am “fixed” on God’s immeasurable power I will see earthly hardships are meant for my Christ-like character development. I am a conqueror in the power of the Holy Spirit. Nothing is beyond God’s reach to heal and restore.

Many times Jon and I talk about what life would be like solo. If God takes me first Jon says he would spend the insurance money on therapy because he’d be so heartbroken. Should the reverse scenario occur, I’d spend the money on contract services whenever something broke. Jon is very handy—he can fix anything! I am mechanically challenged to say the least.

Truth be told, I would grieve terribly if Jon goes before me. I am crazy about my husband, and we’ve only had eight years together. When you marry later in life you realize how precious your time is. Would I be scared, lonely, and anxious if I were a widow? Yes, I would. But praise God I do not have to remain stuck in those thoughts and emotions! I can choose to meditate on God’s Word and let Him comfort my troubled soul, and bring helpers into my life. He can do that for you, too.

Peace through an intimate relationship with Christ squelches worry. Death will come to all, but it holds no victory. Jesus conquered it, so we have nothing to fear! I don’t know when He will call us home to be with Him. Until that day I am going to enjoy the blessing of my beloved husband, and my trusted Savior who brought us together. What will you choose? Worry or joy? Satan’s lies or Christ’s truth? “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34).

Your fellow sojourner,

Mary